Your Moveable Feast: A Guide to Eating Well On The Road

This week’s post was written by guest blogger, Bonnie Shapley. Bonnie is a Martha Beck trained life coach emphasizing self reliance through self discovery.  Through her experiences as a flight attendant, she also knows quite a bit about eating and planning meals on the go.

It was a little before 6:00 in a large Midwestern airport, when a flight attendant jumped off the airplane to get dinner for the crew who had not eaten all day. “Hi, I’d like to order five hamburgers and three orders of french fries.” The cashier’s face showed alarm mixed with a tinge of horror. “Oh”, she said, ”the cook’s not going to like this.”. “But you don’t close for 10 more minutes?” The cashier looked at her, measuring whether she would insist on this outrageous request, and then walked to the kitchen as if it were a gas chamber. She was right, the cook didn’t like it, and the only thing that came out of that kitchen was a long string of expletives.

Later that night somewhere in Omaha, two business travelers get in late after a full day of work and a mad dash to the airport which didn’t allow time for dinner, only to find that the kitchen in their hotel closed 30 minutes ago, and there aren’t any open restaurants close by.

A family of 6 with 3 small children had book the early nonstop flight from Oakland to Kansas City. They left early, planning to eat breakfast at the airport, but the traffic was bumper to bumper and then they ran into problems at security, just making it to the gate in time to board. With no food. On a 3 hour flight. Oops.

Don’t let this happen to you. Any number of incidents can occur that will keep you from eating while traveling. And then, on the off chance you do find a place open that will actually serve you, you might end up with a white bread lunch meat sandwich with wilted lettuce that cost $7.00. I once paid $22.00 to have a sandwich delivered to my hotel room because it was my only thing available. $22.00!

Over the years, I have learned a few tricks to ensure I’m properly fed on the road. It requires, dare I say it, a little preplanning and creativity. But anyone can do it. And you will find it well worth the effort, especially when you run into those almost guaranteed bumps in your traveling road.

It’s a food bag and if packed properly, it will be your best buddy. Not only will a food bag keep you from starving, it saves money, provides for healthier eating and guarantees you’ll have meals you really like. And that’s the primary rule for packing a food bag, only put things in it you really like. I’ve tried coercing myself into eating vegetables by packing mostly that food group, only to find I’d really rather gnaw on my arm than to eat a celery stick.

Putting the food bag together: Basic equipment- soft sided cooler bag, they come in many sizes, shapes and colors. My ‘fav’ have separate compartments for cold stuff, utensils and other condiments and another for items that don’t need to be cold, like bread and protein bars. Find one that is leak proof and large enough to put ice in the compartment with the food. A hot water bag, found in the first aid section of any store, can be filled with ice to keep your bag cool. Finally, stock up on plastic freezer bags for storing and heating.

 

How to do it: If you are traveling by air, you can bring cold food. And liquid condiments can be brought in containers of 3 oz or less. Any size liquids that don’t need to be kept cold can be placed in a checked bag, just be sure to put it in a plastic bag in case of leakage. To keep food cold going through security, freeze some of your food, chicken breasts and pastas freeze beautifully and keep your other food cold until you get through security. Then, when you’ve gotten to “the other side”, ask for a large cup of ice from a vendor or from the flight attendants once you’ve boarded.

Food to bring: This is the fun part. As mentioned, chicken and pastas, no sauce or lightly coated, are travel friendly foods. Pack some tortillas and make a chicken wrap with lettuce, hot sauce and a few blue cheese crumbles. Tuna, hummus, peanut butter, cheese as well as edamame are excellent sources of protein. For breakfast, instant oatmeal with your favorite nuts and maybe some dried cranberries or raisins or cereal. You can pack low fat parmalat milk, vacuum sealed so it doesn’t need to be cold, in your checked bag or pick up a bottle ahead of time in the airport or hotel. Fruit, if you can find it, is expensive on the road. Pack bananas, apples, berries, pineapple anything you like. And yes, vegetables. Just cut them up ahead of time. Small servings of frozen vegetables like sugar snap peas, broccoli and spinach come in their own plastic bag for heating; take them out of the box and pack just in the bag.

How to store and heat: Every hotel has an ice machine so it’s easy to keep your food cold. Many hotels also have small fridges and or microwaves in the guest rooms. Some will put them in rooms on request so when making a reservation, check on availability. But if not, you can heat up food using the coffee pot and ice bucket. Brew enough hot water to fill the ice bucket ¾ of the way, plop in your food in a freezer plastic bag, these tend to be stronger, close the lid and let it do its thing. This method will not cook food, only heat so make sure the food you bring is fully cooked. This works for leftovers, too. Have the waiter pack up your meal and then when you get back to your room, put it in a plastic bag and put it on ice; ready to heat up again when you’re hungry.

Your food bag can be as elaborate or as simple as you want. I once came across flight attendants creating a full roast beef dinner with mash potatoes and gravy and green beans. I like to carry enough food for two meals and snacks per day so I purchase one meal a day. The purpose is to keep you happy, healthy and properly fed with your bank account in tact at the end of your trip. Bon Appetit!

 

The Women’s Conference: Big Dreams, Big Results

I think there should be a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. ~Madeleine Albright

Madeleine Albright on the screen--view of the conference from my seat in the arena

ARE THERE ANY VAGINAS IN THE HOUSE?! This is how Eve Ensler opened her presentation at The Women’s Conference hosted by Maria Shriver in Long Beach, California this week.  I love her.  She grabbed our attention and kept us mesmerized as she shared the story of a 14 year old Massai girl who fled her father’s home and traveled on foot for two days to reach a safe house.  Her motivation?  She was about to be married off to a senior citizen for the price of a few cows and, as is a common pre-matrimony practice among her people, that meant she was about to have her genitals mutilated.  She stayed at the safe house for a year, where she was supported, loved and educated.  She reconciled with her father after that year and, as Ensler recounts (she was present for this reconciliation), she was so fierce, so beautiful, and so strong that her father had no choice but to accept her back, because he understood that if she is educated and if she is supported, then one day she can come back and support the entire family.  Not only did he accept her back into his home, but, as a result of their teary and heartfelt reunion, he also gave his word to never cut any of her sisters.

No one is in charge except the people who pretend to be. ~Eve Ensler

One girl in one village directly impacted the lives of several women—her sisters–because of her courage and strength to stand up for her own truth, to honor herself.  What other women and men will change their hearts and minds because of her inspired action?  Over 14, 000 people heard this story at the conference (and more via a live webcast). I can tell you that I still feel the impact of this story—it reminds me that by standing in my own truth, I create another example of what that looks like and that has the potential to inspire others to stand in their own truth and power.  Maybe reading this Massai girl’s story has inspired you, too.  That’s how powerful one woman’s choice is.

Put yourself in position to make things happen. ~Robin Roberts

This wasn’t the only story that left me feeling inspired and on fire. Oh no. I had two full days and one night of this sort of thing and it was extraordinary.  It is my intent for all women everywhere to feel how I felt sharing space with some of the most powerful and accomplished women in the world. What these women achieved is amazing.  Another one of my favorite success stories was that of Larree Renda. Renda started out at 16 years old as a bagger at an Iowa Safeway supermarket and is now Safeway’s Executive Vice President, Chief Strategist and Administrative Officer—and she got it done without going to college.  Another great story: Madam Secretary Madeleine Albright sat through a commencement speech at her 1959 graduation from Wellesley College in which the speaker congratulated her class on a job well-done and then informed them that their major responsibility now is to raise smart children, mainly boys.

I had many heart to heart conversations with myself: ‘you’ve been successful before,’ I told me, ‘you’re really good at your job, you have something to offer and who in the hell do these people think they are?‘ ~Katie Couric on how she handled negative media criticism

Perhaps the most courageous and encouraging stories I heard belonged to Somaly Mam. Somaly was sold into a Cambodian brothel as a sex slave when she was about 11 years old (she’s not sure how old she was, what her real name is or who sold her into slavery) and raped so many times she lost count after a short while. Mam estimates that some girls as young as 5 years old are raped  as many as 20 to 30 times a day.  After witnessing the brutal murder of her best friend, she risked her own life by escaping the brothel, found help through a kind stranger and began her mission of rescuing other girls and providing them shelter, rehabilitation and an education.  Because of her bravery and passion for helping children, the Somaly Mam Foundation was born to aid victims of human trafficking and sex slavery. This year six of her charges were accepted into universities in the United States.  This was truly the most moving presentation of the two days I attended the conference, and every presentation was moving, so that is really saying something.

Women and children are not toys you can play with when you want—we have heart and we need it. ~Somaly Mam

As incredible and profound as these accomplishments are, what really rocks my world about these women is their passionate belief that they are bigger than anyone ever gave them permission to be—they knew they had an obligation to themselves to find out how big they really are and they did it and  they keep doing it.  The world is a better place because they refuse to play small. When each of us fulfills our own destiny we are that much more powerful when we come together and that is a very good thing.

The fastest way to change society is to mobilize the women of the world. ~Geena Davis quoting Charles Malik

If you’re ready for inspiration, encouragement and support to be who you really are, watch the recorded webcasts of every presenter I mentioned and of those I didn’t mention–they are all amazing. You come equipped with everything you need to discover that you really are the heroine of your own life. That’s how powerful you are.

Find out who you are and be that person.  ~Sheila Bair

A Lesson On Achieving Goals From My 6 Year Old Teacher

Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale

My daughter holding the first book she read by herself and the book she is reading now.

Witnessing my 6 year old daughter learning how to read is inspiring.   She’s not discouraged that she’s not the best reader in her class or that she can’t comprehend a Leo Tolstoy novel.  She doesn’t worry about the consequences of not being able to read and she’s not pursuing this skill because she believes it will bring her fame, fortune or an exciting relationship. Her goal is very simple: she wants to read her book and she accomplishes this goal by reading one word at a time.  When that goal is too big, she breaks the word down and sounds out each letter. Sometimes this process is slow and challenging, she gets frustrated (sometimes VERY frustrated) when she comes across a new word that she doesn’t know and has difficulty sounding out, but she’ll either ask for help or eventually figure it out and move on.  At other times, she whips through previously challenging words and sentences and feels rewarded by her accomplishment (if her beaming smile is any indicator).  Having tons of support and encouragement from her family, teachers and school volunteers has gone a long way to help her achieve her goals as well.  It will be a while before my daughter is proficient enough to enjoy Anna Karenina, but every day her efforts bring her closer and closer to mastering her reading skills.  It’s really amazing to see.

I find myself wondering how different my experience would be if I was learning how to read at my current age.  I suspect that my motivation may be different (far more fear and ego to confront for sure), but the fundamental process would remain the same:  I’d start by opening a book, I’d turn to the first page, then take on one word at a time, letter by letter, moment by moment.  Eventually I’d get through the book, and during this process, before I’d even finish the book, I would have become a reader.

You can read. This is no small accomplishment, only one you may have taken for granted.  If you ever doubt that you can master any skill you truly want to master, go read something. Then after you are through telling yourself the story of how you can’t do something, get to the practice of getting it done by breaking the goal down, into very easy, very manageable steps.  For example:  A sedentary individual who dreams of running a marathon may make putting her shoes on the first phase of their training program.  The next phase may be getting outside and walking around for a few minutes, the next phase may mean walking for longer periods of time, in time, she will be able to walk longer distances and at brisker paces until she feels compelled to jog, then run . . .eventually she will be conditioned for a full marathon, but in the meantime, she has already become a runner.

What small step can you take today toward achieving your goal? If you are unmotivated to do it, the step is too big, make it smaller and smaller until you are doing it.  If you are looking for even more tips on getting stuff done check out my post Turn Crappy Into Happy.

Clothes Are Your Employee, Not Your Employer

I went shopping last week and spent the vast majority of the time in a fitting room thanks to a very helpful personal shopper who retrieved everything and anything I could possibly want to try on.  While I waited between outfits, I was privy to the conversations going on around me.  Usually I’m too preoccupied with trying stuff on or fetching clothing myself, that I don’t pay attention to what is being said, but this time, with little else to do but wait, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversations.  One woman was talking to her daughter on her cell phone, another woman was going over the merits and consequences of breaking out of her current classic style rut with a friend and then there was the conversation that really captured my attention: a woman lamenting to her sales associate I could never pull that look off.  I don’t know what look she was referring to, but it was irrelevant, I was intimately familiar with this woman’s sentiments.  As someone who spent the better part of her high school years and young adult life addicted to fashion magazines, I knew exactly what this woman was talking about.

For a long time I felt the need to make clothes look good. I wanted to be worthy of the season’s hottest silhouette and styles, even if it didn’t flatter or honor my shape and size. I would get super frustrated when I tried something on and I didn’t look anything like what was styled for me in my fashion magazines.  There was good reason for this: I wasn’t built like anyone in a fashion magazine and I erroneously thought I should be.  It wasn’t until after I had my first child that I learned the value of dressing for my body and discovered how choosing the right styles for my shape and employing a skilled tailor would make the clothes serve me, not the other way around. It’s a simple shift in thinking really:  I’m the employer, clothes are my employee.  Now that I know this, fitting room meltdowns are a thing of the past. When I shop, I pass over racks and racks of clothing that don’t flatter me and I quickly narrow my choices down to pieces that do.  Knowing that my clothes work for me is no small boost in confidence either, it’s a lot easier to carry myself well when I know my clothes fit, hug and hang on my body in all the right places.

If you’re ready to have your clothing work for you, then check out what I consider the bible for dressing any size and shape: The Pocket Stylist by Kendall Farr.  If you like the idea of having a real live person assist in your clothing choices, find out if your favorite department store has a personal shopper or stylist on staff and make an appointment with her (I’d still do my own homework on my shape, though). This service is free and having that objective opinion can end up saving you time and money.  You could also hire a freelance stylist for more choices that aren’t limited to a specific store.

Weight Loss and Fitness Goals: Check Your Motivation

When I look back on my past and recall all the desperate and disordered attempts I made at losing weight and keeping it off, I never felt at peace. Even when the weight came off, I was worried about putting weight back on.  My identity was all wrapped-up in what I made my size and shape mean.  At times, being thin meant I had a shot at a dance career, at other times it meant attempting to please a man who cautioned me never to gain weight if I expected him to remain attracted to me (it’s no coincidence that I attracted a man into my life who mirrored my lack of body confidence at the time) and still other times my fitness drew attention and compliments from others and made me feel validated. At none of those times did I feel genuinely happy—I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was motivated by fear (of not being good enough) and lack (never getting enough approval or attention). It took me a while, but eventually I learned that nothing outside of myself (compliments, boyfriends, career, thinness and even my own body) could give me lasting happiness, that was a choice I would have to make in my own mind.

When I let go of looking outside myself for my happiness, I was free to discover what really turned me on, what truly filled me up.  I started to participate in activities for no other reason than they looked like a good time, I wasn’t trying to take anything from the experience, I was giving myself  the gift of fun.  One of the many things I  discovered is that I am an athletic girl who loves and appreciates her body for it’s strength, abilities and good health, no longer because I hope my body will buy me approval or acceptance.  So when I get on my pole, practice yoga, swim, surf or dance, my motivation is abundance and excitement: I want to play!  With that motivation, it feels good to be in my body enjoying these activities–the activities and my body don’t bring me joy, I bring joy to my activities through my body. And because I’m enjoying myself so much, the only people who show up in my life are other people who reflect back my own joy—at least, those are the only people I am aware of!  I’m not so evolved that I don’t have days where I see myself or my body with a critical eye, but I have learned and created some pretty fierce tools for snapping myself out fear and lack mode and bringing my focus back to all the abundant and exciting stuff going on in my life.

If pursuing your weight loss or fitness goals makes you feel stressed and anxious, your actions are being driven by fear and lack.  Take a long hard look at your goals and be sure your desire comes from a place of abundance and excitement, and  you’re not just afraid of what will or won’t happen if you don’t achieve them. Signs that your motivation is abundance and excitement are:  you stride confidently toward your goal knowing it’s just a matter of when–not if– you get there, the journey is as much fun (if not more fun than) arriving at your goal, your actions are inspired and you look forward to having what you want without grasping or neediness.  If you are impatient, frustrated or worried then you are counting on your goal to give you something it cannot: peace and happiness.  Use the meantime to cultivate peace and happiness for yourself now.  One way you can do this is by keeping a gratitude journal and write five things for which you are grateful every night–this is very powerful. This way, you will have what you truly want now and after you reach your goal, too.

Can You See Beyond Your Belly Roll?

Take a look at this photo I came across in this Glamour Magazine article.

What thoughts enter your mind?

The first thought that popped into my head went something like Yikes! Did this poor girl know that her belly was going to be photographed like this? I’m so glad I don’t have THAT situation going on! You can see how distraught the model, Lizzi Miller, is in this captured moment. Of course, the problem was all mine—in the instant I saw that photo, my eyes were drawn to her belly and I immediately recalled, with knee-jerk speed, all the rules I had adopted over a lifetime governing what an acceptable belly looks like. This may sound completely un-cool coming from someone who works with individuals on weight loss and body image issues, but, yup, that was the dirty little thought that flooded my mind at that very moment.  As a coach, I also know that any judgment I make about anyone or anything outside of myself is really a judgment I make about me.  I imagined the horror I might feel if I was the girl in the picture and it was my belly rolling out for all to see. Some of you may sympathize with me and many more of you may be thinking, Are you kidding?! I would kill to look like Lizzi Miller in this photo! Either way, chances are good that you are harboring a less than kind thought about your own body.  If the first thing you noticed was Lizzie’s gorgeous smile it’s because you recognize your own inherent beauty, something the rest of us need to do if we want to feel fabulous about ourselves.

Because I’m a firm believer in facing my fears, I stripped down before a mirror, found myself a stool to sit on, relaxed my belly and recreated Lizzi’s posture to see what, exactly, would happen. Now, even though my belly is quite fit, it turns out that I get a belly roll in this posture, too. Know what else?  I totally survived the experience, because I know it doesn’t matter what my belly does or doesn’t do: I can be happy whether I have rolly, fleshy belly or flat svelte belly—that’s my call. If you happen to be working on getting a flat, svelte belly, getting happy now, whatever the state of your belly, will help you bring about and maintain your desired results (if you’re hoping the flat belly will make you happy, you will only be as happy as your belly is flat—how happy will you be to maintain that belly under those high-pressure circumstances?).

You can try this same experiment for yourself. In fact, I encourage you to try it if the thought of seeing your belly bared or not sucked-up into your esophagus gives you hives.  What are you making that extra flesh mean? When you feel good because your belly looks flatter, but feel crappy when your belly looks fuller, you are creating a lot of drama for yourself.  Decide to feel good about yourself no matter what, pick a feature or quality you do love and focus on that, then look at your belly again.  If you are completely held hostage by your thoughts about your body, check out my post, Does This Thought Make Me Look Fat.

After doing this little experiment on myself, I learned two things: 1) No matter what a person’s size or shape, belly rolls happen—that’s real. I can either choose to see myself as an individual with a belly roll or see myself as someone with a gorgeous smile.  What I focus on tells me a lot about what I’m thinking about myself and the good news is, if I don’t like what I’m thinking, I have the power to change that. 2) When someone radiates self-love, self-acceptance and confidence, they are going to look incredibly attractive to other self-loving, self-accepting, confident individuals, no matter what pose they strike.

With this new understanding about myself, I now look at the photo of Lizzi Miller and think that is one sexy chick rocking a killer smile.

You Get As Good As You Give

Are you getting what you want?  If you’re not, your energy needs some tweaking and to do this you need to change the way you feel.

Think back to any social situation you’ve been in and recall the people you wanted to talk to. You were most likely drawn to the positive people.  Positive people spend most of their time feeling good.  That’s attractive.  I suspect, rarely, if at all, are you clamoring to get close to someone who is putting out the negative, downer vibes. That’s quite unattractive. The same principle applies to objects, situations and events.  If, for example, I want a really great job for myself, but every time I think about that job I get frustrated or sad because I don’t have it, I am putting out negative energy.  I will have difficulty getting myself a great job with negative energy, because negative energy is repellant to positive situations (and very attractive to negative situations).  Even if I do land a great job with the negative energy, I’m likely not to enjoy it or even lose the great job because now I’m thinking that I need to hold on to it to be happy! What a conundrum!

The good news is changing my energy is as simple as changing my thoughts to something that feels better than whatever thought was causing me to feel frustrated and sad.  There is a feeling that I am after when I think about the job of my dreams, it could be a sense of security, contribution or even accomplishment, but it’s a very positive feeling I want to feel. When I think about how awesome I perform in my dream job, the exciting work I’m doing, the generous compensation I’m receiving and the variety of very cool people I’m working with (notice I’m using present tense to really see myself in the job) I get very enthusiastic.  This turns me into a very strong magnet for what I want, because now I’m vibing positive, confident, feel good energy and that’s attractive. Heck, I feel so good, I don’t even care if I get the job! But I will get it. . . Conversely, if I am vibing negative, clingy, needy energy I will become quite repellant to this killer job I want.

The most important thing to do when you want to attract a certain person, situation or thing into your life is feel good.  People often believe that they’ll feel good once they have the person, situation or thing that they want, but they have it backwards: they will have the person, situation or thing they want when they feel good. From this feel good place will come fresh, inspired ideas.  Inspired ideas lead to inspired action—inspired action can be quite intense, but it is way easier and  far more productive than struggling and muscling through to accomplish something. Always.

One way to feel good immediately is by focusing on someone you are crazy in love with (he or she could be someone alive or someone who has passed: a child, significant other, friend, grandparent, even a pet).  Sometimes focusing on people (even the ones we love) is challenging or they bring up stuff that messes with our feel good vibe, in this case just focus on something you love like an object or an activity (dancing always does it for me). Try it now: focus on someone or something you love and see how that feels.  Now picture yourself having what you really want while hanging out in that feel good place. Doesn’t that feel amazing?! If you start to lose the good feelings by focusing on your want, just forget the want for now and stay in your feel good place for a while.  Practice getting in and staying in this feel good place regularly and start to focus on some simple, easy wants (like a cup of coffee, a book, etc), then you will gain the ability to focus on the bigger wants while occupying this feel good space.  By doing this, you’ll start attracting some pretty yummy things to you including, but not limited to, what you consciously want.  In fact, you may get something even better than what you thought you wanted! While you’re patiently waiting for your want to become a reality, prepare yourself for having it, because it’ll be here before you know it.

You Are The Best There Is (Part 2)

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernhard Shaw

In last week’s post, I invited you to go out and be exponentially more you. Some of you may have gotten right on it and  signed up for that martial arts class, spelunking club or quit your job, moved to Africa and are currently pursuing a career as an animal tracker (I actually know someone who is an animal tracker in Africa, pretty cool, huh?!).  For those of you who are unsure about how to proceed in discovering your unique talents and gifts, no worries, I have the perfect tool for you to use.  It costs nothing to very little, it’s really fun and you have the ability to do it your whole life.  It’s called playing.

I promise you this: if you are not enjoying your life at least 90% of the time, you are not playing enough. Before your analytical, rational, logical party-pooper left brain starts discounting the value of play-time, let’s keep ol’ lefty happy with some cerebral facts about play:

• Play readies the player for the unexpected or unusual
• Play encourages effective problem solving
• Play enhances social connections, awareness and cooperation
• Play is essential to creativity and innovation
• Play helps us develop trust and coping skills
• Play helps us make sense of the world
• Play helps us transform ideas into reality

Also, let’s not forget that playing is just plain freakin’ fun!  That happens to be my most favorite reason to engage in play, but if your left brain still needs something more academic and scientific to wrap itself around, it can learn even more about the benefits and necessity of play from The Nationaol Institue For Play (I love that hardcore scientists are studying play!).  You can also watch this great TED presentation given by Dr. Stuart Brown.

Now I want to address your creative, fun-loving right brain, the part of your brain most in touch with who you really are at the core of your being.  Go back to a time when you were having a blast, for some of you, this may mean going back to childhood.  You can also think about the last time you were so engaged in an activity that you completely lost track of time. Go there now.  What were you doing when you were having so much fun? Were you alone or with people?  If you were with people, who were they? what were they like? Were you indoors or outdoors? Were you using your mind or your body, or both?   Really nail this scene, because this is a huge clue telling you where to best invest your time and energy and it’s definitely a clue showing you what your natural feeling state is: joy and fun.

When you are feeling exhilarated, inspired and free you know you are on the right path. This does not necessarily mean you become a professional martial artist now that you enjoy playing with martial arts (but then you never know!).  The vitally important take away you get from playing is that you learn how you feel when you are on—what it feels like to stand in your power (a very yummy sensation).  You can use this feeling to gauge how effectively you are utilizing your unique talents and gifts in any area of your life. For example, do you feel on when you are engaged in your current work?  If not, figure out why–is it the tasks involved that turn you off? The field you have chosen or the work environment?  If you don’t feel playful at work, in your relationships, in your body or with your finances, you definitely need to play more.  Through play, you will be inspired to take the right actions for you and then when you do act, your actions will feel effortless and will have a positive impact on you and everyone your life touches.

You can start playing right now. Do something that’s fun for you! Share a funny joke you recently heard, take a long lunch and go test drive that exotic automobile you dream about owning one day, flirt with that super cute barista at the coffeehouse, fantasize about all the cool things you will accomplish now because you are mastering how to be more you by fully engaging in play time.   If you need just one more piece of evidence to get you inspired to play more, look around at any serious non-players you may know and ask yourself if you aspire to be more like them or if you aspire to be more like those who approach every thing they do with a sense of playfulness. Go find examples of both and compare notes–nothing is more powerful or more convincing than discovering and clarifying what you truly want in life.  Find what you love to play with and then play at least 90% of the time.  Your mission in life will become clearer, your relationships stronger  and the world becomes an amazing playground for you to explore.  Have fun!

I love learning what other people do for play, so please post the ways you play and what you get out of it—I can’t wait to be inspired by you and your playful shenanigans!

You Are The Best There Is (Part 1)

No one  does Oprah better than me. ~Oprah

A few weeks ago I was listening to Jeannette Maw’s Pray Rain Journaling audios (I love everything this woman puts out) and she offered the following affirmation: I’m the best there is.  I adopted it immediately.  A few days ago I was warming-up while listening to the song One in a Million by The Romantics (remember them?) and I thought one in a million? I’m so way more unique than THAT.  And so are you, the person sitting next to you, your neighbor,  your co-worker, etc. That led me to wonder why it is commonly believed that unique individuals are so rare, when, in fact, we are all unique.  Then it occurred to me:  it isn’t someone’s uniqueness that makes someone stand out, it’s when an individual chooses to express their uniqueness that gets others to really see and appreciate them.  Not in an egotistical, graspy, desperate sort of way, but in an authentic, thrilling, deeply resonating way.

I also got to thinking about what society considers normal (and even this arbitrary standard shifts and changes over time) and the astoundingly high value many people have chosen to place on this concept.  How many times have you heard someone (maybe yourself) ask is this normal? I, for one, have asked my doctor if the white freckle (where apparently no pigment exists) on my arm is normal and I was relieved to hear that it is, indeed, normal (she used the word common, actually).  So, yes, in certain circumstances, it’s very comforting to hear that my condition is normal.  For the life of me, however, I cannot ever remember hearing myself, a childhood friend or even an adult say “when I grow up I want to be normal!”  NEVER have I heard this.  It may be because normal is predicated on the preferences and behaviors of others and not necessarily on those of the individual.  It may also be that I simply do not tend to attract people with this particular life design in mind! All the people I know yearn to shine, to do what THEY do best, to share THEIR innate, extraordinary gifts and to feel deliciously good.  This is inevitably what happens when individuals express their own uniqueness.   They forget about trying to squeeze themselves into the tiny, claustrophobic confining container of normal and they grow bigger and bigger, sprout wings, take off like a rocket and accomplish the most amazing things just for the hell of it and because it’s just plain fun.

Looking at just some of the most successful high profile individuals we are familiar with, like Oprah, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Tiger Woods, Dara Torres—pick  a person, I know you have one in mind (and they may not be high profile at all)—they all do one common thing well: themselves.  I suspect none of these people stopped and asked permission of anyone to express their unique talents, gifts and skills.  They just do what they’re meant to do.  When you express your uniqueness, we all benefit and people come out of the woodwork to support and encourage you. You are the best there is. Nobody does you better than you.  If you know deep down inside that you are meant to do something that you currently aren’t doing, I’d get on that. Now. We have a finite amount of time on this planet to express who we really are before, as Shakespeare so eloquently put it, our hour upon the stage expires.  Go on, then, and give us, you and the whole world a brilliant performance that only you can give.

Next week, I will share with you the most valuable tool you can use to help you be more you and draw out your most unique talents and gifts.  I’m too excited to wait to tell you!  So, I’ll give you a hint: it’s playing!  Okay, that was more than a hint, but I will talk more about it  and its super important role in making you shine and making your life fabulous next week.  I can’t wait!

A Few (Gazillion) Of My Favorite Things . . .

It seems that I have spent most of my life trying to figure out how to complete this sentence. I love _____. Now I realize that this is a complete sentence. I love. ~ Robert Higginson

Back in July I had the incredible experience of getting together with over 3oo amazing, awesome, fabulous people at the Martha Beck Coaches Convention.  I have to tell you, being around these people is so inspiring, so uplifting and SO addictive!  I want to be around these people all the time (and so far I haven’t gone one month since June without seeing at least a couple of my fabulous peeps).  The best I can describe what I feel for these individuals is what I imagine people who are in love must feel for their beloveds: I can’t stop thinking about them (and I don’t want to stop!), I wonder what they’re doing (right now, in fact!), I can’t wait to see them again, I talk about them like someone who has just discovered a rare and valuable gem would talk about their find and I feel 110% supported, loved and encouraged (okay, I feel like a total rock star) when I am in their presence.  Not just with a few of them or ten or fifty of them, ALL OF THEM.  What are the odds of this happening?  So when Martha, our courageous, real and beyond generous leader took the stage of our convention and enthusiastically announced to all 300+ of us you’re all my favorite! the room exploded in laughter and applause, because we all recognized that the feeling was mutual among each and every one of us.

Recently, I was listening to Law of Attraction coach extraordinaire, Jeannette Maw, speak and she mentioned that she, too, has many favorites.  It hit me: why don’t I claim more favorites? Why do I feel compelled to have only one paltry crumb favorite of anything?  That felt very limiting and miserly to me and the moment I realized that, I also discovered that allowing myself to have as many favorites as I wanted was deliciously liberating and thrilling.  Now, I proclaim my favorites whenever I come across them (sometimes even before I come across them. . .), and let me tell you, I had no idea I have so many!  I can’t believe I had been hoarding favorites and turning away other potential favorites by declaring only a spartan few, not a good place to be when you’re all about flowing abundance, right?  And, guess what? When I embrace all my favorites–all my favorite people, all my favorite foods, all my favorite activities, all my favorite colors, smells, sights and feelings–I discover and enjoy even more favorites!  I’m swimming in a sea of favorites and I like it. A lot. Seriously, who came up with this small idea of having a limited number of favorites?  That’s just silly and does little to express how big and full of juicy potential we really are. There’s a whole wide world of fascinating, awe-inspiring and plain kick-ass people, activities, events, situations, things and places.  Now that I have tasted the vastness, freedom and abundance that allowing myself an unlimited supply of favorites provides—there’s no way I’d ever limit myself to liking only a few things again.  I pooh-pooh the very notion (that phrase cracks me up, I totally put that in there for my own gratuitous entertainment).

Have you ever felt pressured to choose only one favorite among two or more of your favorites?  What happens if you just choose all of them to be your favorites—let yourself go there, imagine how it would feel to allow yourself to have as many favorites as you like!  Isn’t that fantastic?! Now imagine allowing, encouraging and supporting others to have an unlimited supply of favorites, too.  Just imagine being in a room full of people with unlimited favorites.  As someone who regularly shares space with people who embrace multiple favorites, I can tell you, firsthand, that it blows away being in a room full of people with limited favorites.

The good news is you don’t need permission from anyone to start letting your favorite machine crank out some mighty fine product, but if you’re not ready to hear that just yet then I hereby grant you permission–no–I challenge you to come up with more favorites than you could ever possibly enjoy in two lifetimes.  Go on. I dare ya.