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Why It’s Important To Feel Good Right Now

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When you feel good, good things happen.  Some people get this backward and believe that they will feel good when something good happens. These people spend a lot of time waiting to be happy (I’ve been there, and I can tell you it’s very boring, not to mention frustrating). . . If you are one of these waiting people, think back to any positive event in your life: were you bringing joy and enthusiasm to the situation or were you bringing bummer energy?  I suspect you were bringing a positive vibe. That’s how it works. You can create positive situations by feeling good and the key to feeling good is choosing good feeling thoughts.  If this concept is new to you or you could use a refresher, here are some tips to help you start feeling good right now:

The most important choice you can make to feel good is to ALWAYS accept whatever is happening right now. This is really easy to do if you are experiencing an ideal situation, more challenging if you’re not.  You don’t have to like the situation, just acknowledge that it is happening.  There is a huge difference between condoning or liking a situation and accepting it.  If you resist what is happening right now, by condemning the current situation, you will not feel good; instead, you will most likely feel anger, frustration or sadness.  If you acknowledge and accept your current situation, not only will you feel better, but you will also be in a powerful place to make the next moment better if that’s what you want.  Because you won’t be wasting all your energy complaining and fretting—these are very draining activities—you will be able to use that energy on more productive pursuits, like finding a solution (which may include just letting it go). It’s much easier getting access to even better feelings when you remain in a place of acceptance most of the time (notice I said “most of the time,” our minds will continually challenge us to fall out of this mode, but these challenges just present us with opportunities to find our way back to acceptance.)

Practice acceptance with easy situations at first. For example, the next time you are at the grocery store and someone brings 12 items to the 10 items or less check out stand and gets away with it without a public stoning, accept that this egregious injustice has occurred.  You don’t have to like it, but if you don’t, notice your thoughts about it, because it’s your thoughts that are causing you to feel icky.  What’s really getting to you? Is it the extra two items?  The brazen flouting of a posted sign above the cash register?  The weighty watermelons and bottled water you’re holding? More than likely it’s the thought that 12-item guy should respect the 10-item limit.  But he’s not in compliance and you’re the one suffering from the thought that he should be. Insult piled on top of injury.  Instead, challenge your crappy feeling thoughts and then either take action to improve the situation if you can or just let it go. Once you master the small stuff, you can progress to practicing with the more advanced challenging situations, like the ones that come up when dealing with your immediate family.  That makes the 12-item guy outrage seem relaxing, right?  so practice with the daily smaller annoyances first—before you know it, you will be throwing down some serious acceptance skills when your mother comes to your house and rearranges the entire contents of your kitchen cabinets without asking.

Now you have access to a better feeling thought. Anchor your attention to something you genuinely appreciate in the moment, no matter how minor you believe it to be, as you are experiencing it (it could be a sight, sound, a pleasurable thought, a pleasant sensation or even your breath).  I had an incident just yesterday where my six year old was melting down: I had just accepted her screaming and whining  (admission: my acceptance was not instantaneous. . .) and turned my focus to a song I liked that was playing on the radio.  This provided me with enough clarity and patience to simply be there for my daughter, allow her to experience what she was experiencing without getting caught up in or contributing to the drama.   In fact, I believe my acceptance of the situation led my daughter to wrap it up more quickly than if I became an active participant in her tantrum.

Don’t cling to outcomes. When you look toward the future and hang your happiness there and only there, not only are you completely missing the opportunity to feel good right now, you ironically decrease the likelihood of attaining that future thing you want so badly.  Have you ever known a clingy individual who thinks they need you and won’t leave you alone, no matter how many times you threaten a restraining order against them? How drawn to that person are you?  Other people, situations and things are no different from you, in this respect; desperation and neediness are repellant qualities and cause people, situations and things to run screaming from them.  And, by the way, if you’re clinging to an outcome, that is another great opportunity for checking out the thoughts creating that yucky feeling.  Planning, however, is different.  Plan to have something, look forward to it even, just don’t latch on to it as if your life depends on it, it doesn’t. Feel good now, without the outcome, and the person, situation or thing will be more attracted to you.   Don’t take my word for it, though—try it.

The bottom line is that you have everything you need to feel good right now.  Pick a thought that elicits the feeling you want and let it rip.  This is totally your choice.  Now take it even further and decide how you want the rest of your day, week, month and year to play out.  Feel accordingly.

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