Home > Uncategorized > Love Your Family, Reject Their Crazy

Love Your Family, Reject Their Crazy

If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family. ~Ram Dass

Celebrating the holidays can be challenging.  It’s a time many of us come together with the people we grew up with and when even the most pulled together among us revert back to acting like children–and not necessarily in a good way.   You may find yourself acting out old patterns and habits you wouldn’t dream of acting out in front of non-family members. You may be a highly successful and capable person, but feel totally inadequate and powerless sitting with your family as they retell their stories about you—the ones that far from highlight your capableness.

Today, as you hang out with your family, remember that you can love them completely and, at the same time, reject their craziness.  So even if Uncle Joe insists on reminding you, for the hundredth-millionth time, about how you were never as good an athlete as your sister or if your mom can’t get over the fact that you’re single/not pregnant/pregnant/working/out of a job/etc. just filter out the love marbled in with the stress and anxiety of their concerns and discard the rest.  You’re a big girl/big boy now, you can choose to subscribe to your family’s brand of crazy or you can cancel the subscription at any time.  If you start feeling icky around your family, it just means that you’re buying into their ideas about you (or life in general).  In this case, make this statement your mantra: love my family, reject their beliefs. You don’t even have to make a big stage production about it (it may actually backfire and encourage more drama if you do), just repeating this mantra to yourself can ease the tension you feel.   You can’t change your family or their beliefs, but you can absolutely alter how you react to them.

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